I Don't Love You But I Always Will
by rae of sunshinexx
Summary: Allie traveled with the Doctor because he meant so much more to her than he could ever know. The Doctor brought Allie along because she was something special to him... Character study. 11/OC


**Story: Every thing was a contradiction with her, everything was another obstacle but as much as they both tried to admit it, there was something brilliant about them together...[eleven/oc]**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or Matt Smith (Oh how I would love to own that). But I do claim the rights of Alison Jane Harper. She is mine and mine alone. Back off, geezzzzz. :)**

**I Don't Love You but I Always Will**

_You only know what I want you to..._

He believed that everything he told her went straight to her head, that every word was absorbed and she'd believe everything. He wanted to think that she trusted him enough to just follow whatever he planned do to, but he was still thinking of Alison Jane Harper. Through all his trials and tribulations with companions, through all his heartache and sorrow, none of them amounted to the painstaking brilliance that surrounded the girl before him. She was pretentious and nerve-wracking. She was beautiful and naive, graceful yet a neurotic mess. But most of all, she was captivating.

He didn't know if was the way she doubted herself until she was needed most or if it was the way she would pull herself off the ground and try again, when all she wanted was to collapse into his embrace and cry, as she had many times before. He wasn't sure if it was the way she would stand up to him, make her point known, and then retreat into the TARDIS without another word. Whatever it was, it had him intrigued. It always had and, most likely, always would.

_I know everything you don't want me too..._

She knew that he wanted her to be the innocent companion, a bystander in the overall outcome of the situation. She knew that if it were up to him, she'd be in the TARDIS at all times of danger and only emerge when need be. And most of all, she knew that he thought of her as a nuisance. She often wondered why he kept her along. All they did was bicker with one another, his new found bravery of releasing his frustrations with his new face grating on her nerves. She had known the face before, come to appreciate his calm demeanor. This face, no, this face was far from calm. He was psychotic at times, moody, and, if she dared to say it, hormonal. She would joke with him about it, and most times it would lead to their battles of who had the bigger ego to burst. But in the end, there were the moments that made her smile still.

There was Paris, Audrey Hepburn, visiting the past and living out the future. There was the moments in distance galaxies and trips back to modern day London to see her family. Whatever it was, wherever it was, she spent that time with the Doctor.

_Your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine..._

Those lips taunted him whenever he let himself venture a gaze upon them. He could remember the few times that her lips were upon his own, his eleventh regeneration only experiencing the taste of Alison once. He knew that she had difficulty with her feelings toward him, always had. At first, he looked past it. But when he could no longer, when he knew that in the end it would result in heartache for both of them, he lied to her.

But that was his past self. This new being with this new personality saw things differently. Amy was still a little girl to him, always would be. But Alison, Allie would always be just that...Allie. Beautiful, bold Alison Jane who let only the brave into her world. She was stunning no matter the time of day, anyone could see it, but there was something else that captured his attention.

_You think your dreams are the same as mine..._

She knew that he only saw her as someone he could count on, someone he could keep close. But to her, he was something different. He was the reason she woke up the morning, the smile upon her face. He was the sun, as cliche as it sounded, to her pitch black sky. Everything about him made her heart skip a beat but it would never be anything more than a platonic relationship. That's how the Doctor was.

At least, that's how he was after Rose. She knew that he didn't want to break her heart, he didn't want a repeat of his experience with her and she couldn't blame him. But still, in Allie's heart, she wanted nothing more than for the Doctor to look at her the way that she gazed at him.

_I don't love you, but I always will..._

**That was basically a character study. Just something little. Want more? I'll post it :)**


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